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[Porkscratching]

Geno has a good point, you certainly have to represent anything as exaggeratedly 'bad' as possible to get anything done, I found this with my old mum, it's disgraceful that folk with serious issues have to do this kind of thing to get anywhere, but that's the game and you have to play it too...

[geoff]

 Don't know about knee surgery but for dental treatment you need to move to Wales !

Today my wife paid for her dental treatment consisting of :

2 small fillings
2 X-rays
root canal treatment on 2 teeth

all for the outrageous sum of £46 and some pennies 

 My local private hospital charges £12,100 base for a knee replacement ( Nuffield Health Cardiff )

[Wittsend]

602,

    I don't know anything about the NHS, but I'd suggest that Barbara just go to the Dr in a borrowed wheel chair and tell him she just can't walk any more and that you have to carry her to the toilet at night, It might help if she was wearing some adult diapers and showed him saying she just can't make it to the toilet in time.
    Over here they don't want to do anything until they HAVE TO, just show them that HAVE TO is now.

Have you checked into how much a vacation in Mexico with surgery costs? I don't know about knee surgery but some folks from here go for cheaper dental costs and other stuff.

I think this is the best course of action ... get your GP involved, show them her quality of life is deteriorating and you really need (home) help...
Pester them and lay it on thick.
I'm afraid in this day-&-age cancelled operations are the norm and they could do this a few times - you don't want this dragging on to the winter NHS annual crisis.

[w3526602]

Hi All,

My sister was (now retired) a Team Leader in a South London Social Services Dept. She and her husband (free lance journalist) were aghast at the difficulty Barbara had getting to the ladies room at the pub where we were having dinner. Even at home, I timed her from her saying "I'm going to the loo!" (while in her armchair) to plonking herself on the porcelain throne. SIX MINUTES to travel six metres, in a bungalow.

It wasn't until she fell one evening, and the Fire Brigade sent a report to Social Services, that it dawned on them that maybe we have problems.

However, I suspect that is the private clinic that have cancelled her operations, for medical reasons. The NHS will fund the operations, but not physiotherapy afterwards. For some reason they say that Barbara needs to be in a "ward" where a nurse will be in attendance overnight. The clinic only have private rooms. Sod it ... send me the bill for individual nursing! But who do I shout at?

Our MP is a lovely bloke ... I wrote to him about some minor matter ... he knocked on our door the following evening, spent an hour yarning with us.

I'm guessing that he is somewhat busy dealing with things that we mustn't discuss on this forum. But on the other hand, he will be anxious to secure our votes.

The cancelled operation should bring Attendance Allowance back into the game.    £2,000pa is not to be sneezed at. Does anybody know if replacement knees immediately cancel AA?

602

My lovely wife ... what are they doing to her. Oh ****! The tears are here again. I'm sorry!

602

[sharkojoints]

You / she need to go back to your GP and ask them to help.

The GP is the fundholder here: they are able to explain the options and write the letters which will get you and your wife the care you need.

Be honest about the impact on her health and life, in all its aspects. Make sure you discuss the impact this has on yours and your wife's mental health, wellbeing and enjoyment of life, as well as practical things like toileting and other activities of daily living.

In all honesty, writing to the consultant or your MP is not the fastest way forward. It's your wife's GP who's the gatekeeper here, and it is them who can request more urgent intervention.

Obviously everyone's priorities are different, but I would not consider private treatment. The operation will be performed (most likely) by the same surgeon, but in a less well-equipped hospital if anything unexpected happened. The saving in waiting time might not be as much as you think, either. But that's just my opinion.

Hope this helps. I work in the NHS, and it's a confusing system sometimes but it can usually be made to work!

[w3526602]

Hi Sharko,

I will admit that I hadn't considered the quack GP, I probably assumed  that his involvement was over and done with.

I will frown at Barbara, get her to make an appointment. Hmmm! I wonder if I can persuade my daughter to come too? She carries more "natural clout" than I ever have (apart from the odd occasion when I've lost my temper.  On one occasion I even had my Sergeant engage "instant back-down")

Problem, there is a guestimated 1:4 slope up to the newly built surgery. I struggle with her wheelchair.

602

[Dire Straits]

Quote
I will frown at Barbara, get her to make an appointment. Hmmm! I wonder if I can persuade my daughter to come too? She carries more "natural clout" than I ever have (apart from the odd occasion when I've lost my temper.  On one occasion I even had my Sergeant engage "instant back-down")

Problem, there is a guestimated 1:4 slope up to the newly built surgery. I struggle with her wheelchair.

Hi John
I would suggest getting a Social Services Adult Care Assessment carried out,maybe your sister could advise further.
If you get your daughter involved in taking your wife to the surgery you will be masking some of the present problems,I think you're better off insisting on a home visit citing your inability to push her wheelchair,if they ask about someone else bringing her tell them that's not possible,however have your daughter attend home visit if possible for support.
Separately in any "talks" with professionals stress how bad things are for Barbra and your self,for instance if for example on a good day she can get to the toilet in 2 minutes don't say anything,always tell them the worst example in any situation.
Regards Les

[w3526602]

Hi ,

This should make you smile.

Bess my heavy pony(9" bone) dropped a cracker of a foal. When she was six months old, I brought the "little madam" down to my garden (she slept in the coal cellar) to wean her.

Twice a day, I take her for a walk around the block, on a head collar and leading rope.

So I'm walking her along the main road pavement, when she started to speed up. I couldn't hold a six month old foal.

I reckon she was well into a canter and still accelerating, when i worked out that if I could get the rope shorter, and pull her into a circle, I'd have some control.

Madam worked out that if she went the other side of the next lamp post ... and I didn't ... I'd have to let go of the rope. She was right. I expected to either roll or slide. Neither! The bloke in his front garden heard my collar bone break.

Pick myself up, use my right hand to put my left hand in the front of my jacket, go and grab Regina (aka Ginnie), who was waiting about 20ft away, walk her home, put her in her coal cellar. Go and get Barbara out of bed ('flu), and head for Neath General.

Walk into A&E Reception, expecting to be able to hand all my problems over to somebody who knew what they were doing. NOBODY AT THE DESK. 

That's when it hit me ...... "WaaaaaaaaH! Sob" etc. Another patient jumped up ... "I'll go and find help!"

"it's, sob, OK ,sob, it's only, sob, shock, sob!.

The worst bit was when they made a sling out of 2" bandage, told me to take two paracetamol .... "Next patient"!

That filly was a cracker ... knew immediately how to pull a lunging rein out of your hand. . My friend's wife was an AI.  "Sod it!" she said, I've had enough of this, let's get a saddle on her. Ginnie watched with interest. So friend's wife climbed on. Ginnie just turned her head to see what was going on up there. From then on Ginnie was an absolute darling ... and a cracker of a pony. She pulled my friend to and from her wedding in the middle of Swansea, and did some competition driving. Oh yes, she made 14.2hh, A hand taller than her mother

I had read that a horse never forgets, nor will be bothered by, anything they experience in their first week. So every day, I placed a feed bucket on her bum. She quickly lost interest, went for the pile of food. She was never bothered by anything ... apart from the lunging rope ... which she hated. We had to lunge her on a 6ft rope, in a country lane.

Easy to "box" too .... behind my Landy (just to keep it on topic ... although it was my first/only S1 LWB, but had an S2 engine and gearbox). She was a nuisance, coz she kept sticking her head in thru the cab windows. when you wanted to drive to the gate.
602

Ooops!  Alan, nudge me if I'm misbehaving!

[sharkojoints]

You could ask for a home visit from the GP if that would be easier.

It would also be fine to have your daughter there, if that would help you both.

Just talk to your GP honestly about what's happening, how you feel, and how your health is. Your GP, like 99% of other health professionals, is essentially 'on your side' and wants you to be healthy and happy - the same as you. They will be trying to work out with you and your wife what the best thing for you is, but you will have the final say on that, within the limits of the resources they have. Some things have changed for the better since the 1950's! 

Keep posting, and shout if you need help. 

[w3526602]

I don't know anything about the NHS, but I'd suggest that Barbara just go to the Dr in a borrowed wheel chair and tell him she just can't walk any more and that you have to carry her to the toilet at night, It might help if she was wearing some adult diapers and showed him saying she just can't make it to the toilet in time.

Hi Geno,

You don't know Barbara ... she can be the most "morally correct" person on the planet. She will not lie, unless it's to protect me. I know that she did once exagerate a problem ( I think to benefit me) but so long ago that I can't remember what.

My daughter (Business Manager at an international bank) is a different breed eg; During a treasure hunt, she could see nothing wrong with altering a clue if she found it first. One of Natures Winners .... I wonder where she got that from? 

602

PS. Aw shucks ... where were you all when I needed you ... like during my formative years. And where's my hanky?

PPS. When I met Barbara, and found out where she worked ... I "bad mouthed" Customs & Excise, due to the amount of Purchase Tax they charged for the windows in my Mini-van. I think it was £61. She looked up my file, took offence, and gave the local officer a hard time over another matter. She didn't realise that I had begged the assessor to be over-critical, to keep the Purchase Tax down.

PPPS, Soon after I met Barbara, a friend ask me "Where did you meet that tough Cookie?" Wrong! She's a sweetie ... just don't attack me!

[Scotty38]

John, there is no lying here, it's clear there is an issue that needs to be resolved and you are doing no wrong ensuring the powers that be understand it. Trust me you will get nowhere being in the slightest bit accepting of the situation.

You need to tell them how it is and make no bones about it, in the nicest possible way of course. Good luck!

[Wittsend]

 

People of a certain age, it's the stoical war time spirit, tend to just carry on and bare their tribulations and don't want to make a "fuss".
My mother was like this.
We got her all sorts of aids and help to make her daily life better.

A blue parking permit really helped (when the spaces were not filled by able bodied cheats  )
She got walking aids, hand rails and we put in a stair lift.
She got prescriptions delivered. Home visits from the chiropodist and even got her eyes tested at home.
There's a lot of help out there but you have to ask for it.


 

[genocache]

602,

    I'm not saying lie, I'm saying exaggerate and it helps to have visual aids.  And I'm not touching your plug if you can't get Barbara to do it yer on yer own...

[w3526602]

Hi,

From a previousb post .... and his stories about South Croydon and Purley which I can relate to,

I was moved from Croydom General to Purley hospital, still in a hip-spiker. I could use a "bottle", but anything more serious meant a bed pan, which I had to lie on.

As soon as I was settled, the bloke in the next bed told me that the toilet paper was rationed. IZAL or maybe BRONCO .... one sheet to wipe, one sheet to polish, one sheet to shine. 

He lied, but not about the manufacturer. I thought that wiping your bum with tracing paper was a thing of the past.

602

PS, Applying the hip spiker was .. er ... interesting, I was in a two bed, garden view room. Young lad in next bed. Plaster prevented me from wearing pyjama bottoms. They layed me across the bed with a white enamel basin under my bum, so they could get underneath me. No screens.

Pause while you visulise the scene. 

Every student nurse on the ward came in to have a shuft, give me smile and a wave

I was sixteen and a half. (Hmmm! I must tell Barbara). But I DID enjoy Christmas, misletoe (sp), etc. 

[geoff]

 But I DID enjoy Christmas, misletoe (sp), etc. 

  Nothing like a bed bath eh 

  Best NOT tell Barbara