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[w3526602]

Hi Andrew,

I once asked Mike Worthington Williams (Google) what he was driving (as Arthur, his 1920s Austin Heavy 12 had ceased to be his only transport.

"A male menopause!"

"What's that?

A Ford Sierra!

5000rpm? I found that Barbara's Honda CRX (1600cc) could just hit 100mph (indicated) in third gear, needle on 7,000. I didn't try 4th or 5th. Winding it up, away from the traffic lights in first gear, would turn heads. Barbara was stopped, twice, on the M4, at 110mph plus. She argued with Plod ... the second time she refused  to get out her car until he showed her some form of identfication. He didn't so she didn't. Both times she was told not to do it again. Clean licence since forever.     Married for, er, 55 years, and I still wake up screaming.

The Honda never dropped below 40mpg.

She once challlenged a Sergeant Instructor, during a demonstration run from the police driving school at Hendon ...

"We've been driving for twenty minutes, you haven't got higher than third gear ... and we are currently doing 85mph?"

"I expect my trainees to be doing 130mph on this road!".

"Oh!"

If you want to watch Barbara's hair stand up, ask her about driving a borrowed Cortina estate, with an "b]entire[/b]" Shetland stallion screaming in her ear. I assume everybody knows what "entire" means? He was still "all there". He was "sorted" a couple of days later, with me holding his hind leg out the way. In Wales, the vet's expect you to help. I was even involved in the post-mortem on my Maran (sp?) cockerel. Query Meniers disease?

Are you still with me? Then I'll continue! A neighbour's daughter arrived home, to find me, a strange man and an apparently dead donkey, in the middle of her dad's immaculate lawn. You cannot use "Imobilon/Revivalon" (sp?) on a donkey... Revivalon makes them go ballistic.  So it had to be chloroform, and a "natural" awakening, which involves a bit of "drunken" staggering, hence the need for a tidy lawn. We explained what was going on.

She pointed at two lumps of meat, lying in the grass.

"Are those ....?"

"Yes!".

She dashed indoors.

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