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[w3526602]

Hi,

Barbara fell in the bathroom ... between the porcelain throne, her invalid buggy,  the shower screen, and the open bathroom door. Ambulance arrived at about 10 o'clock, has just driven away at a few minutes after 12.30AM, taking Barbara with them. It took them than long to disentangle her.

Maybe now Social Services, will consider a grant for extending the "bathroom" into the side passage, between the bungalow wall and the garage wall.

602

[w3526602]

Hi Paulie,

Thankyou for your concern.

I received an email ("dated" 04.30hrs) saying that they had given her pain killers, and were about to take her up to the ward.

602

[oddjob]

Send our best wishes to Barbara. Hope she's home soon. 

[Peter Holden]

If the hospital gets social services involved they may not let barbara home until alterations are made so that she can live properly.

Peter

[Genem]

Here's hoping that Barbara recovers quickly and is home with you in short order - but yes, as Peter says, this might be the trigger that gets Social Services looking at the right adaptions to enable proper independent living.

[w3526602]

Hi Gene,

No feed back yet.

Have you ever tried phoning a hospital?

"ALL OUR LINES ARE BUSY!"  24/7

602

[Genem]

That is a shame John. My usual line ( ho ho) is to try to get the a direct number for the Ward - but that usually takes a visit, not as easy at the moment :-(

 

[agg221]

If the hospital gets social services involved they may not let barbara home until alterations are made so that she can live properly.

Peter

That may not be a bad thing overall. This is an area where sometimes in my experience you have to be brutal to get results, and it is a very uncomfortable, unpleasant experience as it feels like you are not being fully supportive of your relative, but actually you are in the long-run.

What you have to find a way to deal with is that the people who are ultimately making decisions are not the customer-facing nurses who generally do have a level of human connection, but rather the management level which is making financial decisions. It is in the best interests of the hospital to free up beds by sending people home as soon as possible, which is usually a universally held desire. The thing is though, once you have gone home, you are now somebody else's problem and can be fobbed off indefinitely. If someone is occupying a hospital bed, they are expensive. That means the relative cost of making adjustments to a house so that they can go home becomes minor - it's a relative calculation. If you/they state that they cannot go home until the place is made suitable the hospital has a problem - if they send you home without a proper assessment at least then they fail in their duty of care and if Social Services make an assessment and conclude that you do not need adjustments and then the problem recurs, that puts them in a difficult position. Refusal to go home/accept responsibilty for care are sometimes the only way to get results.

I have been involved in significant dealings with the NHS on four occasions, one involving Social Services. In all four situations, the only way to eventually get resolution was to seize an opportunity like this and stand firm against some increasingly forceful people attempting to persuade us otherwise. I had to bring in external support on one of them. It was very unpleasant and uncomfortable, but it was the only way to get results. The one which most closely parallels this situation (although obviously different) was a relative who developed early onset Altzheimer's. She lived with her husband who took care of her. As it progressed, it reached the point where she was doubly incontinent and could not even get herself out of bed, let alone dressed. He was over 75 and could not leave her alone for even 5mins to go to the toilet or get a cup of tea unless she was asleep and it was wearing him out. Nobody was prepared to do anything because it would have meant cost, so he was constantly put off. In the end, she developed an infection and had to go into hospital for treatment. While she was there, her husband told the hospital that he had left his wife of nearly 50yrs and that therefore she could no longer return to the house. Social Services finally had no choice but to sort out some kind of care for her. As I said, deeply unpleasant and it felt morally wrong, but when dealing with people who were only interested in money it became the only way (btw, she is still alive, in a care home, completely oblivious of who anyone is but he still visits her several times a week and of course they are still married).

Alec

[w3526602]

Hi Gene,

My daughter managed to get through ... probably able to "frown" better than I can.

They are hoping to send Barbara home this afternoon, and are arranging an assessment of our bungalow.

I wonder if I can have our builder present?

More anon

John

PS ... My daughter will be taking mr to the eye-clinic, by taxi, coz I won't be allowed to drive with drop[s) in my eyes, while one of her banking colleagues baby-sits Barbara.

While we lived in the Swansea Valley, I had a direct line to the Fire Station, so I could call up a gang of blokes when my MiL hit the floor.

[Wittsend]

I hope things work out ...

I can tell you about the eye drops.

1st time I went and had them there was some stinging in the eyes and coming out into daylight was painful, lots of sqinting = sunglasses on hand help.
Could drive (safely) after a couple of hours.

That was some years ago. Now the drops don't affect me and I'm good to drive home straight away.
I asked and they haven't changed the drops or the strength of them.

So best to have someone "taxi" you to the clinic and see how you react. Chances are you'll be OK and next time it won't be half as bad.


 

[w3526602]

Hi Alec,

I agree with you, but iot doesn't come naturally/.

On the other hand ... "Beware the anger of a patient man!

Another interesting cliche ...

"Most men can endure Adversity ... it's when they a have "Authority" that you learn their true character." ...

Which is similar to what you were saying.

Unfortunately, my MP is a Party Whip, which seems to keep him away from his constituancy.

I did mention "Omsbudsman" to our Social Worker cum Occupational Therapist. My local councillor threw a wobbly

An independant assessment by an Occupational Therapist in private practice (only a couple of miles away) will cost something over £600. I had an "up and down" discussion with Barbara only a couple of days ago. She refuses to spend that sort of money on herself. Maybe I should pretend he is coming to access me?

It seems somebody, somewhere, is going to do some "leaning on", on our behalf.

More anon

602

PS, I've noticed that medical staff in MK tend to shout at the patients ... like the time Barbara was unable to stand upright in front of an Xray machine..

In the military, when the Drill Sergeant shouts at you, he will demand that you shout back ...

... "LOUDER!"

Two grown men, eyeball to eye ball, speaking to each other as loud as they can. Probably character building.

I must try that ... in the surgery.

[Genem]

I hate to say it but it might have been better to insist that Barbara could not come home as the house is not equipped for her needs.

Anyway, good to know that she is deemed well enough to come home.

[w3526602]

Hi All,

Thanks for your concern, and suggestions.

Barbara arrived home yesterday, closely followed by a procession of social workers, who all seemed keen to help. The even persuaded Barbara to have a commode in the bedroom (I never told you that), which I have suggested in the past ... and been violently rebuked for even thinking it.

Co-incidentally, the Social Workers happened to have a commode in the back of their car.  Whatever turns them on! 

My daughter doesn't drive, so it was a banking colleague who drove me to the hospital (they both took a day off from working at home ... my daughter is constantly on the phone, so I doubt that she/they could have have just sneaked out.  A slick operation ... plenty of spaces in the car-park, and I probably spent more time being push-chaired from the car park by daughter's friend, than I spent sitting in the waiting room, and took only a very few minutes to take the photos. I'm impressed.

I have not yet discussed Barbara'e hospital experiences, she was still pretty traumatised and probably  bruised. She also had a bad experience in the bedroom, hit the GO lever on her chariot too hard ... chariot destroyed a sturdy folding chair (church hall type), and kept going into a chest of drawers. I've watched that chariot burn a black hole in a carpet, when she kept the power on with the front end being blocked by a door frame.  Me? I treat it with a lot of respect ... too powerful.

I suspect that I'm going to have to investigate mechanical handling (Google BATH HOIST FOR SALE), an electric winch on a gantry, for getting her intp bed,  transfer from chariot to WC, etc. I'm going to have to investigate how to "work" the Disabled Facilities Grant system. As far as I can make out, a £6,001 grant will be Means Tested, but a £6,000 grant isn't ... and being mandatoty, you can keep going back and asking for another £6,000. I will investigate.

Again thankyou for everybody's concern and good wishes.

602

[w3526602]

Hi again,

Just in case anybody is in the same boat, Google OXFORD EASY TRACK 2 POST.

I can anticipate Barbara going into "lead balloon" mode.

602

[Peter Holden]

John were you in the RAF

If so try contacting the RAF Benevolent Fund.  It is there to help veterans and their families.

We didnt find out about it until too late for it to be of any use to my parents.  They can offer you all sorts of help and advice.

Peter