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[Nanuq]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were in the desert on Christmas Eve.  After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, in the stillness before Christmas morn, Tonto woke the Lone Ranger and said, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? '

'The Lone Ranger replied, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger pondered for a minute then said, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.  Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.  Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past four in the morning.  Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and has sent his son, born in a manger of a virgin.  Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day for Christmas.  What does it tell you, Tonto?'

'You dumber than buffalo chip, Kemo Sabe.  It mean someone stole the tent.'


MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

[Genem]

Bosnia, late 90s, we ( Brits, Dutch, Czechs and Canadians) are planning a "Firepower Demonstration" to awe the "Entity Representatives" into being good boys...- Serb, Croat and Muslim senior officers, at Manjaca Ranges. My CQMS is tasked to lay on a lunch buffet for the guests afterwards. Decides he will have a 12x12 tent set up the day before "to save time on the day". .....Several of us suggest that he will need to guard it overnight. "Its OK Boss, we are in the middle of nowhere".

You can complete the story yourselves....

 

[Peter Holden]

At the end of WW2 after he finished flying active duties my dad was sent to Algeria as a storekeeper.  He reckonned the locals could get 3 ton bnedford trucks out of a fully guarded camp at night without anyone seeing.

Peter

[kev]

Apparently, the Lone Ranger gave Tonto a black eye when he found out what kemosabe meant...

[Manxcat]

Meanwhile back at the Ranch;
the Lone Ranger mistook Tonto for a door and shot his knob off.
 

[rustynuts]

One day the Lone Ranger and Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said "Buffalo Come".

The Lone Ranger said, "That's amazing, how do you know Tonto?"

"Can't say. No smutty jokes allowed on forum" Tonto replied.

 

[w3526602]

Hi,

And then there's THE LONE PSYCHIATRIST  by STAN FREBURG (Google will find it).

Tonto ... "Why has your mask got a little bit of glass?"

Lone Psych. ... "Because in my lunch break, I go skin diving!"

Referring back to Tonto's wisdom ...

... one of my RAF mates had been into scouting. One night, he had difficulty staying asleep, despite it still being dark outside.

Eventually he felt a "need" to leave his tent ... and found some prankster had erected a bigger tent over his bivvy, and it was now mid-afternoon.


602 Anon.